Mr Slop FRCS was in the bath when his mobile phone made that awful cock-a-doodle-doodle noise programmed by his grown-up children. It notified Slop that a text had come through. After jumping out of the bath, Slop stood stark naked on the bath mat and leaned across to reach the phone on the windowsill. He squinted at it for a moment before realising it was a message from the Esteemed Editor. Slop automatically stood to attention, unconsciously clearing his throat and tensing his anal sphincter at the same time.