DOI: 10.1097/YCT.0b013e3182014834
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Issn Print: 1095-0680
Publication Date: 2011/09/01
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Excerpt
Three Gem Publishing/Kivler Communications, 2010. $15.95. ISBN: 978-0-9844799-0-0
Carol Kivler has written a moving account of her recovery from severe depression with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). This small paperback volume adds to the library of first-person experiences of ECT as a beneficial and life-altering treatment. With the preponderance of material about ECT so negative, it is refreshing to have one more positive story that will be helpful to patients and their families.
Part 1, entitled, "My Journey and Courageous Recovery Through Clinical Depression," contains a compelling and gripping description of her depressive symptoms: "Out of the blue, my world began to come apart…Like a chain reaction, lack of sleep eventually became severe insomnia. That triggered nervousness which escalated into major anxiety. Physical symptoms precipitated by anxiety entered the scene causing a loss of appetite, muscle spasms and perpetual headaches. The persistence of all these symptoms chipped away at my concentration causing a complete lack of confidence and an inferiority complex." She progressed to psychosis, and despite living in an affluent home, she thought: "There was a shortage of food in the pantry and the refrigerator, so I began to ration meals, giving up my portion entirely to ensure there was enough for the children. My husband tried to reason with me constantly, telling me that I was out of touch with reality and that we were doing just fine and had plenty of food and money. He tried to convince me that I wasn't seeing things clearly because of my state of mind. I scoffed at him and told him to get out of denial. Why is he lying to me?" She became suicidal, required hospitalization on a locked inpatient unit, faced her fears about ECT, and reluctantly agreed to treatment. Sadly, it is the fear of being stigmatized as having received ECT that is the principal deterrent that she has to overcome, not the fear of the actual treatment.
Her description of her response to ECT, in the chapter entitled, "Return to the Living," echoes previous well-written personal narratives by Kitty Dukakis, wife of the former Governor of Massachusetts,1 the surgeon Sherwin Nuland,2 and the psychologists Martha Manning3 and Norman Endler.4
The recovery from psychotic depression is amazing; it never fails to captivate, either in writing or when we, as practitioners, witness it in our patients. For this description alone, Ms Kivler's book is worth reading and recommending to patients.
She reveals her recurrent encounters with "the Beast" (her name for clinical depression) stressing that full interepisode recovery is not only possible but probable.
In Part II entitled, "Valuable Tidbits for Consumers, Their Loved Ones and Health Care Providers," she offers the chapter, "Demystifying ECT," a helpful and largely factually correct layperson's description of the modern procedure. Much of the rest of the book is devoted to what the author terms her "Courageous Recovery Wellness Model," advice for depression sufferers on how to organize their quest for effective treatment. Her support of NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill), both in the text of the book and in the "Resources" appendix, is helpful advice.
Will I Ever Be the Same Again? is only casually edited and, as a result, has many misspellings and grammatical errors, but that is beside the point. Ms Kivler gives her readers a candid look at what it is like to be seriously depressed and to overcome the fear of being stigmatized by ECT. Her forthright message is that ECT is a viable option for those who need it, not something to be feared or shunned. At a cover price of $15.
